Friday, November 1, 2013

We Could All Use a Little Transparency

I think that as mothers, it is important for us to be honest and vulnerable with each other. Usually we just share the positive things; the achievements, the accomplishments. But what if we shared our hearts? What if we shared our fears and insecurities and found that in sharing them we found not only release and grace but also a comrade in arms? Another mother who thought she was alone? Let's all vow to be brave today. When another woman asks you how you are doing, be honest with her. Be brave. Be vulnerable. Be transparent; be everything the world has told you not to be.

To be honest, this morning was a hard morning. Now, normally, I wouldn’t tell you that. I would post to facebook about a great scripture I read, or some other encouragement, and probably attach a smiley face to it. And while what I wrote may be true, it is only surface, because truly I am having a tough day. I was up all night and morning with a baby who was so congested he couldn’t breathe through his nose and had a fever; thus no one slept.

If you announce to the world that you are having a bad day, how does that reflect on you as a mother? As a wife? It is tantamount to admitting defeat in our society, and I know that it can make me feel like a failure. The response to this ugly honesty is often “advice” on how you should handle life instead (you are wrong, let me tell you how I would do it.) Sometimes women can be like sharks circling in the water; the moment we smell blood, we attack the weak, the wounded. How did this come to be? We were not created to be this way.

Thankfully, today, I was reminded of God’s goodness through real women in my life who I decided to be honest with. My Snapchat photos were not of sunrises or my daily devotional, but were instead of my crying, snotty nosed baby boy. And of my bedraggled, tired, bed-headed self, announcing that I was in fact having a rough go of it. And you know what I got in response. Sympathy. Prayer. Encouragement.

Lying and saying I was fine would have gotten me isolation, but being transparent got me life-giving community with other women; which is priceless. Don’t let the world fool you. Not all women are sharks. In fact, most sharky women are actually shy, nervous, unconfident baby seals wearing a shark suit. So take a chance next time you need prayer, encouragement, or just a sympathetic nod. Let’s all give each other the chance to be the women, the friends, we were created to be.

Remember to slow down and enjoy the fruits of your labor and love on a daily basis and you will start to see life as a Mama on the Bright Side.