Why I Have Decided to Quit the Holidays

Just a note: Wow, it really has been awhile since I have posted. There were the holidays, all 4 of our kids currently have Croup, and oh, having 2 sets of twins under the age of 2 is kind of akin to falling off of the face of the earth. But I am still here lol!

So I haven’t quit, not yet. But I really am considering quitting the holidays. In the past 4 months we have celebrated 4 holidays; Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, and for us, our twin’s birthday and party. So make that 5 holidays. The only one of those that didn’t include a big ordeal was New Years. But even that holiday carries with it the demand to attend a party and stay up late…I am a 28 year old mother of two very young sets of twins…ain’t nobody got time for that! Or the energy for that matter!

Why do I want to quit you ask? Well, to be honest, I’m just tired and exhausted. I struggle on a daily basis to clean my house, take care of my 4 kiddos and husband, and make about 17 meals for everyone (one meal per person per mealtime in my house.) So when a holiday rolls around all of that amplifies. We can’t travel because of our kids so we have relatives come to us. Thus I am preparing my home for more people, and more grocery store trips, and more meals before and after the BIG meal of the holiday. Then I am cleaning up. Oh, and somewhere in between I am being a mother and a wife and taking care of my children.

I must stop here and say that I LOVE MY RELATIVES! I love to have them visit us and stay with us. I do not love, however, the added pressure of the holidays.

Even Halloween is stressful because I have to find coordinating costumes for two sets of twins of different ages and for us, and then we have to dress them and paint faces and change diapers and feed them and somehow take them all around a neighborhood when it’s freezing out. Have you ever tried to paint the faces of two cranky almost two year olds? Fuhgettaboutit.

I just wish that holidays were simple. I wish that family just came together to just be together. I want to relax and enjoy my company but I can’t. I’m worrying about gift buying and wrapping, grocery lists, bank account balances, making it to church for Christmas Eve services, cooking everything perfectly and timing it so that it all comes out hot together. Did I get all the decorations up? Is my son eating the Nativity scene?! Who just projectile vomited all over her third outfit of the day? Are all the kids dressed in adorable holiday apparel? Does my house smell like baking cookies? We don’t have lights up!! What will the neighbors think?

Those are some of my thoughts. Some of the things that keep my mind spinning and my feet running. The things that keep me from just sitting down and enjoying the glow of the lights on the Christmas tree and a snuggle with my husband. Why? Why is everything so busy and commercialized? I think that I have internalized every holiday tradition that I have seen and I am trying to make sure we look perfect, our home is perfect, and everyone is happy. In doing all of this, I feel like I am missing the meaning behind all of our family holidays.

I recently read Carry On, Warrior by Glennon Doyle Melton and in her book she has a section called Hostressing. When I read it, it was like reading my own thoughts. It is about how hostessing become hostRessing. And how she finally figured out that hosting wasn’t about the host herself; it wasn’t about have a perfect home or meal, but that it was about offering yourself and your home to the people you care about. This struck a chord with me. In the end, she finally decided to host a “party” but she warned all guests to not be fancy, to bring their own dish and drink, and to leave early haha!

So I’m thinking about quitting. Meaning, maybe we will order food next year or go out to eat. Maybe I won’t decorate. Maybe my kids will spend the days in their pajamas…or maybe we will just go somewhere tropical. I am not sure yet what this temporary retirement will look like. But I know that I am tired. And I know that at the next holiday, I will focus on my guests and not my home, food, drinks, music, clothes, etc. I will enjoy their company, and I think they will enjoy a less-stressed version of me!.....I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that I am not June Cleaver, and that my family is happy with store bought, from a box, stuffing.