Today I am 34 weeks and 6 days
pregnant; exactly at the point where I gave birth to my last set of twins 18
months ago. I didn’t go into labor last time so I am not exactly expecting to
deliver today, but it is an interesting day for me; wondering what if? When we
went on our tour of the new hospital we were told that any babies born before
the 35 week mark automatically went to the NICU. So my goal since then has been
to just make it to 35 weeks at least. I really want to avoid the NICU.
Tomorrow I hit the big 35
weeks, so praise the Lord on that one. Last time I had an emergency c-section
because my blood pressure was steadily on the rise. However, this time my blood
pressure has been perfect throughout. I have a lot of painful contractions, but
they don’t seem to be affecting my cervix. The last doctor who saw me thinks I may
just make it to 38 weeks. Gasp! On the one hand, hurray! On the other, oy vey; I
am tired and huge!!
The great debate lately has
been whether I will attempt a VBAC or just a c-section. I am very torn. Most of
the doctors in the practice do not recommend a VBAC. I have too many risk
factors: twins, second set of twins, twins only 18 months apart, previous
c-section; to name a few. On the other hand, one doctor told me that my risk
factors only raise my chances of a ruptured uterus to slightly above 1%. Ah,
but that percent still exists; and that is scary. I want to do a VBAC to have a
full pregnancy plus delivery experience. But is it really worth risking my life
or my children? I just don’t want to be selfish about it. My one hope is that I
can carry long enough to go into labor on my own and at least get to experience
that.
I have no delusions that labor
is this magical painless thing that I am missing out on. I want the epidural
etc. I just want that connection with my children if that makes any sense. For all
I know this may be the last time I am pregnant (but hey why stop at 4 kids?)
and I just want to know labor and to see my babies immediately after, and be
given the chance for skin to skin contact and breastfeeding. All things I was
robbed of last time.
Bottom line, we are blessed
with our children. I am about to give birth in the next couple of weeks. My scheduled
c-section is July 24. I am thankful for this and I simply pray for a smooth
delivery; whatever the method.
Remember
to slow down and enjoy the fruits of your labor and love on a daily basis and
you will start to see life as a Mama on the Bright Side.
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