A friend and I were
talking this past weekend about relationships and friendships. We are both
mothers and homemakers. We are both about to give birth to our 4th
children. We are alike in many ways. But the one thing that truly unites us is
that we are women and at our core we crave relationships. Unfortunately, as
women, we often seek out a best friend. And in that best friend we are looking
for someone to meet the majority of our relational needs. We want someone who
always gives us great advice, someone to always take our side, someone who
shares our interests and our sense of humor. We want her to always be available
to spend time with us, and it doesn’t hurt if she is the same size as us so we
can swap clothes. We want her to pursue us as equally as we pursue her. We want
her to make us her best friend too.
Whoa. That is a lot of
pressure to put on any one person; and a lot of high, unreachable expectations.
No wonder so many friendships are wrought with pain; with hurt feelings,
jealousy, and disappointment. This past year I learned a secret, first told to
my husband and I by a man interestingly; an elder at our church. And then just
this past weekend my friend said something similar in our conversation about
friendships.
Here is the secret: in
life we need to have a group of different people, a council if you will, who
make up our circle or friends. Each person in this council will play a
different role in your life. They each have differing gifts and personalities
that will complement your life. You can go to each respective person for each
of those needs you have; one friend gives advice, one finds joy in serving and
is always there to lend a hand, one shares your quirky sense of humor, etc.
When we live in relationship this way we can avoid putting all of our
expectations on one person, thus taking a burden off of them and ourselves.
God created us to live
in relationship with others; not just one or two people. Think about your
friendships. Have you been unduly burdening one person with too much? Maybe it
is time to broaden your horizons; reach out to a new friend. Sometimes the best
way to start this is by offering to serve others. Or maybe you have more
friends in your life than you realize and you need to recognize the ways in
which they complement you and count your blessings.
<3 :) Thankful for the friendship I have in you & the ability to learn from one another as we go on this crazy journey called life!
ReplyDeleteI <3 you Amanda! I treasure our friendship and the time we get to share laughing and growing together!
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