Helicopter Parenting With Twinsx2

This year I learned a new phrase to describe over protective parenting, “Helicopter Parents.” I guess this is where we hover above our child(ren) and monitor and direct all that they do. I had to sit back and think about whether I was being a helicopter mom. The short answer was yes, I am. I have a habit of running around after my kids, making sure everything they do is safe, trying to prevent every.single.booboo. That’s hard y’all! It was so stressful to take them anywhere because there is only one of me and 4 of them! How could I possibly run behind each child?

I remember reading this quote somewhere on the internet, “We must prepare the child for the obstacles in the path ahead, not remove all the obstacles from the path.” When I thought about the helicopter parenting, I realized that this is exactly what I was doing. I was going before my children and removing all obstacles for them so that they, and theoretically I in turn, would have a smoother path. But this does more harm than good. The end result is children who cannot think for themselves. Who cannot soothe themselves. Children who are afraid of any challenge or difficulty. And a mom who is overrun, overwhelmed, and stressed out.

In the past few months, I have decided to let my children be children and do more things that children do. I was so worried about their safety that they no longer had many outlets for physical activity. They were wound up and cranky. I now try to take a step back and observe the situation from afar; only stepping in when absolutely necessary. Before, I was also a referee; never allowing my 2 sets of twins to work out problems. I would be the solution, whether the problem was theirs alone, such as trying to use a shape sorter or if it was with a sibling. How will children ever learn conflict resolution skills or critical thinking skills if mommy anticipates every need and struggle and swoops in to fix or prevent it? Yes, there was less whining and screaming in the moment, but in the long run it led to more screaming and tantrums because they got to the point where they wouldn’t even try to do things for themselves. They would just cry and scream until I helped. Ugh. I’m the problem!

I really am trying to allow them to be kids. Too often, we as parents either consciously or subconsciously expect our children to behave like little adults, leaving no room for error. I too am guilty of this. Kiddos are going to jump on and off of the furniture, they will make messes, they will chew on and shred brand new books and important papers...they are tornadoes trapped inside a miniscule body. All that energy has got to go somewhere! But where? I really need some indoor energy burning ideas. Please share some with me if you have any! What works for your kids?

Are you a helicopter parent? If not, how did you learn to let go a little? I feel like I am constantly over concerned about my children. By being this way, I am adding undue stress to my life. What are some little things that you have learned to let go of with your kids? What things did you swear you or your kiddos would NEVER do, but now you allow it? I have heard that the more kids you have, the more relaxed you become with your parenting. But what happens when you have 4 kids, but 2 at a time? Its like I never had time to relax my parenting. And they are all so young! And into everything! Sigh. How does a parent who relishes control let go a little? If I figure it out I will let the world know; I promise! 

No Poo FAQ's Continued

Hi there! Today I will be continuing to answer some frequently asked questions about the no poo method.

How often do you wash it? The answer to this question will probably change a lot as you continue down the path of no poo. Also, the answer will be different for each person. In the beginning, you want to start out by going as long as you can without washing your hair. This is basically how long you can handle having dirty hair, because at first your hair may have an adjustment period where it gets greasy. Or you may be one of the lucky ones who’s hair revels in this new found shampoo-less freedom and doesn’t go through an icky phase. So, go as long as you can before you wash. The goal is to go longer and longer without washing. I have gotten to the point where I have to write the date I wash on my mirror with a dry erase marker so that I can remember when I washed. That is how long I can go between washings.

Can you still color/process your hair? I actually didn’t know the answer this from personal experience until a few weeks ago. When I got pregnant with my first set of twins in May of 2012 I stopped highlighting/coloring my hair. I went 4 years without processing my hair. I did read online that you should be able to color your hair; but that you may need to use an oil treatment on your hair often due to the damage coloring can cause. I personally used unrefined coconut oil, once from solid form and then as a fractionated oil.

Is it for all types of hair? I believe that going no poo would be beneficial for everyone; regardless of your type or length of hair. Shampoos are full of chemicals. So not only do they mask your beautiful natural hair, but they also can cause health problems internally, and externally. Have you been experiencing skin issues on your back, neck, or basically anywhere else? Those chemicals can clog pores and destroy skin. Ugh. Women got by for many years without shampoo. Their hair was still beautiful and shiny because they washed it so infrequently. Bathing was often a luxury.

I really am new to this whole idea of natural skin/hair care, holistic medical care and clean eating. The hair care industry irritates me it creates products and tells us that we need it; then we need more products to repair the damage that their products caused. I’m trying to use less in my life. I am finding it true that less is often more. 

I will continue to update the blog with tips and tricks for the no poo lifestyle. I welcome all suggestions and comments. Is there a particular method that works for you? Tell us about it!

 

I Decided Not To Poo Anymore...and No Poo Frequently Asked Questions

I quit pooing almost a year ago, and I couldn't be happier...Shampooing that is. I became one of the many who have stumbled upon this craze called "no-pooing." The basic idea is that you "wash" your hair without chemical shampoos or conditioners. There are actually several methods of doing this. I personally use baking soda as a shampoo and apple cider vinegar as a conditioner. 

You may be asking yourself, why in the world would you want to do that? The most common questions I get are:

• Why?
• How do yo do it?
• Does you head smell?
• Do you have a dirty head?
• How often do you wash it?
• Can you still color your hair?
• Is it for all types of hair?

So let me address some of these questions for all you skeptics and interested parties ;-) 

Why I have hated my hair since I was 8 years old. I inherited frizzy, wavy, dry hair, along with its ugly twin, dry/flaky scalp. My hair wasn't pretty and straight. It wasn't bouncy and curly. It wasn't shiny. If moisture so much as glanced at my hair, it would morph into an undulating mass of frizz that I'm pretty sure was alive; it had a mind of it's own. Not to be outdone, dryness could turn my hair into a conduit for electricity; it was so full of static electricity that it could spark. Sigh. What in the world do you do about hair like that? Nothing. I was a young girl; I had no clue how to combat my hair or tame it. 

No one gave me a straightener, or a blow dryer, or product. I had no stylist. I walked around with terrible hair, and a cowlick right in the middle of my forehead to boot. I was doomed. I don't know about you, but a good haircut/hairstyle/hair day can make me feel beautiful. Well, I didn't know what that was like for the majority of the past 20 years. I had low self esteem and I know my hair was a major factor in that. Every time I looked in the mirror all I could see was the hot mess that my hair was. When I finally did discover straightening irons, blow dryers, and product, I had no idea how to properly use them, nor how to take care of my hair. Thus, I ended up with heat damaged, frizzy, unruly hair. 

About a year ago I was getting my hair cut and I asked the stylist how I could remedy this hair problem. (Now, mind you, I asked this question a 100 times) She recommended a regimen that consisted of 5 products; things to shield my hair, protect it, and heal it. She used these products on me and she was right, my hair looked great. However, the price for said products was outlandish and I have 2 sets of twins. My budget is small and so is my allotted time for hair care. I felt sucker punched. Finally, I had found a regimen that would make my hair beautiful, but I couldn't realistically do it. 

Thankfully, some tiny part of my brain that survived carrying and raising (currently) 2 sets of twins remembered this thing called no poo that I had read about years ago. I thought, "why put all these expensive products on my hair when there is this potentially great method of hair care where I basically do nothing to my hair." It was worth a shot. I started by reading everything I could online about no poo. I found a few bloggers who had experimented with this as well. After reading about their experiences and results I was hooked, and ready to give it a go. 

How do you do it? I found several different no poo methods such as using baking soda and apple cider vinegar, using water only, adding essential oils to the mix, etc. I also found varying amounts of each ingredient suggested for use. I am kind of clueless about natural health/beauty care, so I went with the most frequently suggested routine of baking soda for wash and apple cider vinegar for conditioner. 

I started out by using a cheap detergent shampoo to clarify my hair and scalp. You want to find one that does not have any silicone in it, like Suave or White Rain (make sure nothing ends in -cone in the ingredients). Silicone is the thing that coats your hair strand and makes it something it isn't supposed to be. It is what weighs your hair down and causes build up. I put the shampoo in my palm and added a tsp of baking soda to it to give it a little extra cleansing power. I then scrubbed my hair and scalp; scrubbing my scalp for a few minutes to truly remove any chemical build up. Essentially, you are removing a mask from you hair; giving it a chance to truly breathe and eventually look like it was intended to look! I then used a mixture of apple cider vinegar and water to "condition" my hair. And no, I did not smell like vinegar when it dried. 

Does your head smell? Sadly, I have made my friends and family smell my head, and no, it does not have an unpleasant odor. You won't smell like a botanical bouquet or a piece of fruit like you would with a chemical shampoo, but if you really want to add a scent you can add a drop of your favorite scented essential oil to your baking soda mix.

Do you have a dirty head? No! When you tell people that you don't use shampoo, their mind tends to immediately conjure up an image of a greasy, smelly, lank head of hair. The opposite is the truth! If you regularly use chemical shampoos but don't wash your hair that often, you will get smelly, oily, lank hair...because that is the result of using chemical shampoo. Shampoos strip your hair and scalp of it's natural oils (sebum) which makes your scalp go into overdrive trying to produce enough oil to moisturize your hair. But it over produces, so you get greasy hair, thus having to shampoo again. However, if you use the no poo method, your scalp eventually gets back to its roots (ha ha) and corrects the amount of oil it produces. You will no longer have buildup on your scalp. Voila! No smelly dirty buildup, and no more extra grease! My hair is healthy and bouncy; I get more compliments on my hair now than I have ever gotten in my whole life. 

Phew! That is a lot of words! I will continue this post in a few days and answer the rest of the above questions. If you have any questions of your own please feel free to leave them in the comments section or email me @ Mamabrightside@gmail.com

To be continued! 

Finding Time to Blog With Two Sets of Twins

It has been a while since I wrote. But I really am still here. Life with 2 sets of twins can be crazy, hard, and beautiful all at the same time. It is hard to believe that my big kids are 3 now, and that my "babies" are almost 2! I vacillate between expecting the babies to act like the big kids and treating them like 5 month olds. It is really strange to have so many kids so close in age; they are close enough that it tricks your brain into thinking they all share the same capabilities, yet far enough apart that they are in totally different stages of development. 

The 3 year olds are now almost 100% potty trained. We have a few accidents once in a while, and sometimes they still pee while sleeping, but for the most part we only have 2 in diapers now. Woohoo! The babies think they should be potty training now too though, and they are insistent. Almost every time the big kids go potty the babies are whining to go also. They insist on sitting on the potty, and then proceeding to get up and down 100 times and run around the house naked, often peeing on the carpet. Ugh. Cute, but also frustrating. I do think they are close to being ready. They tell me 1/2 the time when they need to poop or have pooped, and they certainly want to use the potty like big girls. 

Potty training 4 kids is stressful and time consuming. I feel like I spend a majority of my day cleaning poop from butts or pottys. The rest of the day is spent preparing food, serving food, cleaning up children and said food, and then cleaning the surrounding areas. I often find myself feeling like I am doing the same thing over and over again. We have breakfast for 5 people, snack for 5 people, lunch for 5 people and dinner for 6! It can be hard to not feel like my days are monotonous; filled with the same routine over and over again. That kind of life could literally drive you crazy. So I try to find ways to make it a little different each day. 

Now, any mom of multiples will tell you that schedules are a must; that her family lives and dies by a schedule lol! However, I have found that we can survive just fine with a schedule that has some flexibility to it; it may just be the thing that keeps us sane. 

I am so thankful that the weather is starting to get a little nicer. Now we can slip some outdoor play into our day. Someday soon we may even be able to go for a "walk" in our quad stroller (now if only someone would just come push me in it too...) and maybe go to story time at the library, yes, with all 4 kids. No, I am not certifiably insane. Yet. I even went so far as to set up an outdoor play/climbing cube in our basement and a large play kitchen in the hopes of providing some indoor entertainment. 


My house officially looks like a daycare center. If you have any great ideas or tips for indoor toddler entertainment or energy burning please comment below or shoot me an email. 

Beauty in the Breaking: My Pride Hurts

God is good, all the time. Even when it hurts. Right now life is tough. We are going through some hard things. More often than not I find myself last. Last in line, last to be thought of, looked over and left out. This isn’t fun for me. I grew up as an only child. I can be very selfish and “all about me.” So being in the background can be hard for me. It makes me want to whine and complain about not getting enough attention or consideration. Ugh. I can make myself sick.

So I regularly find myself with hurt feelings. But wait, how can your “feelings” be hurt? Thanks to a teaching called The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness by Timothy Keller, I have realized that feelings aren’t sentient, nor do they have nerve endings, thus they cannot be “hurt.” In reality, it is my ego, my pride that is taking a hit and making me feel hurt. This is so true in my case. I can now acknowledge when it is my pride getting offended.

The crazy part? I am thankful for this hard, hurtful time in my life. I believe that God is doing something big in me. I think He is stretching me and growing me; testing me and giving me chances to exercise the things He is teaching me. I am uncomfortable and that is a good thing. I was too comfortable in my selfishness and pride. God is beginning to wreck my life and I love it. In Jen Hatmaker’s book, entitled 7, she speaks to this. She says, “ [Sometimes] we [have] to shed and cull and purge before God can even remotely begin to deal with [our] serious issues.” And I feel like that is where I’m at now. I feel like God is pruning me, shaping me, purging me. All so that I can become the woman He created me to be.

There is a beauty in the breaking of oneself. I am a clay vessel that God is allowing to crack, break, and crumble, all so that He can reshape me. I am learning to serve with a joyful heart and not expect anything in return; not even a thank you. I am learning to be second, third and fourth; I don’t need to be front and center of attention. I am learning to share freely of my time, gifts, and money because none of those things are mine; they are God’s.

So if you find yourself in a hard time or place in your life right now; STOP. Take a minute to love God even in your pain. Acknowledge that He will never leave you, that He is with you even now. Then ask Him to reveal to you what works He may have at hand. Sometimes bad things just happen. Not every mishap is a lesson from God. But we can trust that God will work all things for our good based on Romans 8:28a which says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him…”(NIV)

Jammy Jams: Once Upon a Rhyme Lullaby Review

My kiddos LOVE music. I mean, they even dance to the noise that the vacuum makes! We have daily (sometimes more than once a day) dance parties. See, I too love music, from almost every genre. Thus, my kids are exposed to music from many, many decades and sounds. We often use Pandora to listen to a steady stream of music. Thanks to Pandora we were introduced to Jammy Jams. So cute! Jammy Jams is a collection of songs recreated to be lullabies for children. How creative! There are no words, just instrumetals.

I was given the chance to review a special Jammy Jams Collection called Once Upon A Rhyme. This version is based on rap songs. Even my husband can now enjoy baby lullabies because they are essentially throwbacks to our younger days. We love that these are such fun songs. We can listen to them during the day for play, or during the night for soothing; they are versatile. Jammy Jams offers lullabies based on rock, 80's, pop, punk, Christian, etc.

You can order these as CD's or you can buy a download. Jammy Jams would make a great addition to your children's music collection or a great gift! Not to mention you could listen to these yourself. Check out Jammy Jams for yourself today!


Click this link to check out a FREE sample of Jammy Jams.

Being a Mommy Brings Out the Best and Worst in Me

Part One: The Worst

Have you ever been going about your day, minding your own business, when out of nowhere you catch a glimpse of yourself and you cannot believe that it is really you? Your actions/words/thoughts just seem so foreign? Since becoming a mommy to my second set of twins (19 months apart) this has been happening a lot lately.

I guess I wasn’t too stressed with the first set. I mean, twins are all I have ever known. So it wasn’t more or less stressful than having one baby at a time because I had never lived any other way. About 3 months after the second set was born I started changing. I began to notice things in my behavior that I hadn’t seen much of previously.

I am usually a calm, patient, positive, and gentle person. But man, 4 children under the age of 2 quickly changed that. I became irritable with a short fuse. I found myself raising my voice and yelling. All. The. Time. I was so stressed and not sleeping much. Everything was negative. The negativity in our home was tangible. You could cut it with a knife. I was speaking harshly to my children and my face was contorting into these ugly, scary expressions. I can only imagine what I must have looked like to my tiny, precious, sweet children. I was a monster. At least I felt like a monster. On particularly bad days, when 10 out of the last 12 hours were filled with screaming, crying, moaning and poop…so much poop, I would have moments when I felt like I was literally losing it. I would open my mouth and venomous words would just come spewing out of my mouth. I imagined myself looking like the chick from The Exorcist, with my head spinning around. I began to hate myself. I loathed what and who I was becoming.

I was in a spiritual wilderness. God, my Rock, is unchanging. He never left my side. But oh did I wander. I was filling my mind and heart with things of this world and letting my Bible and my praying knees gather dust. I was breaking inside and my soul was so dry and aching for the cool, restorative waters of God, but for a long time I thought I was just going crazy or had postpartum depression. It took 4 months of this for me to realize that these behaviors of mine didn’t come from out of the blue. Trees don’t just appear; they have roots in something. Well, my tree was sporting rotten fruit and the roots were being fed from the ugliness that my treacherous heart was harboring.

The Bible is full of scriptures that warn us that what is in our hearts is what will flow from our mouths.  So one night my husband and I talked. I mean really talked. And we realized that we had been living under a cloud of negativity in our home and neglecting our relationship with each other and with God. That night, we both hit our knees in prayer. That was a life changing moment. Life has become so much more enjoyable! Now that I am daily spending time with God through prayer, devotionals, scripture reading, etc. I am able to recognize when I am becoming uber irritable, and bring it down a notch. God has given me so much joy. He has helped me to serve even when I don’t want to. He has helped me to speak kindly and semi-control my temper ( I was born a read head ya know).

I also finally went to see a doctor about the bi-monthly periods I was having. She put me on birth control to help regulate my hormones. It makes me really nauseas but I think it is helping. I only had one period last month, so only one week of PMS; yay! God, and prayer is always the answer. God will move mountains for you, but that doesn’t mean you won’t have to pick up a shovel! Meaning, ask God for help, but take medication when you need it. In my case, I needed something to help regulate my wacky hormones. I needed Zoloft right after the second set of twins were born to help me stop crying all the time; and that is okay. There can be such a stigma in the Christian community in regards to taking anti-depressants and the like. But honestly, why? Our brothers and sisters should do what is necessary to remain sane and healthy.

 So if you feel the way I described, you are not alone. But pray. Ask God to show you what is really going on with you and please don’t be embarrassed because you are not perfect. Ask for help. Seek a doctor’s help if need be. I bet there is a mother you know who is secretly struggling too but is too ashamed or proud to ask for help. Be strong for her if not for yourself. Speak up. 

I Took the 30 Day Gallon of Water Challenge

How did you do? No, really, let’s focus on you so that I can hide my failure just a little longer. In general, I really am terrible at following through with diet and exercise programs. Sure, I start off with gusto and all of the right intentions…but after a few days my discipline begins to wane. What’s strange is that I really am not a quitter. I have an amazing talent called being stubborn, which helps me to be firm in things. 

But somehow, taking care of my own body isn’t a top priority.

I ensure that my kids take a vitamin every day. Me? I haven’t taken one since I was pregnant and had to. I make sure the kids get lotion on their dry skin. Me? I’m walking around looking like an alligator because who has time for lotion? I peel and cut up fresh veggies and fruit for my kiddos. Me? I’m eating processed, pre-packaged food because I don’t have (or won’t make) time for that….sigh.

So it was with this 30 day, gallon of water a day challenge. I started out strong. I got my husband involved, I got a reminder app for my phone, I even kept track of my intake on the refrigerator door; for a few days. My point is that I definitely failed at drinking a gallon of water each day. I actually don’t think that I was able to take in a gallon any of the days. I came close many times!

My justification is quite elaborate: I have 2 sets of young twins that keep me from sitting down and chugging water; aforementioned kids drink my water, fight over my water, backwash food into my water, and throw tantrums when I won’t let them drink it. So really, how am I supposed to find time to keep walking to the counter and drinking my special forbidden water that my kids covet? Oh, and I’m forgetful.

BUT, I will tell you that I drank enough water to learn some things. I realized that when I don’t drink enough water in a day, I wake up the next day with sore muscles. I mean, it actually feels like my muscles are contracted and dried out. Without enough water, I find myself exhausted (more so than usual). Also, my lips feel like they are going to crack and fall off my face. My skin overall is much more dry and itchy when I don’t imbibe tons of water. Conclusion? Drink more water! It will make you feel better and have more energy.

I mean, go figure. Our bodies are mostly made up of water, so I guess it makes sense that we need to replenish that on a daily basis. The main thing that I learned was that I need more water throughout the day. But I may not need a gallon. 64oz seemed to be the key amount for me; less than that and I felt the consequences. So how did you do? Chime in with your thoughts in the comments below! Thanks for doing this challenge with me. 

How to Get Your Toddlers (or Any Age Children) to Eat Their Vegetables; Yes, Even Twins

When my first set of twins were babies they would eat anything, and I mean anything. The only food I introduced that they didn’t like was cucumbers…go figure. But, alas, as they got older and their taste buds developed further, they began to reject more and more foods.

Eventually, it got to a point where they began to have issues with the texture of foods. I can’t even pinpoint how many textures they dislike. But I know they don’t like “stringy” foods such as string beans, turkey, chicken, noodles, etc. However, they also dislike all the other veggies I have provided in the last 6 months.

So this meant that I had to become very creative in how I presented these vegetables to them. For their nutrition yes, but also to save me from a personal breakdown at mealtime!! So below you will find some of my tried and true methods:

• Egg Scrambles. These always work for us! All you do is crack a few eggs into a bowl, add some milk or water, and scramble them in the bowl. Then pour the mixture into the pan and continue to scramble them with a spatula. When the eggs begin to cook and slightly puff up, you add your cooked vegetable and cheese (the cheese is optional but really helps). If you don’t want to cook your veggies, just make sure you dice them up into very small pieces (but if they are not cooked at all, they may be too hard, and your little one may pick them out). *A side note here, eventually my kids began to catch on to me and pick out as much veggies as they could. But never fear! I was prepared. To fix this, I would puree a batch of mixed veggies and use that instead of whole veggies. They no longer had anything to pick out.

• Bread, muffins, or cookies: grate up almost any vegetables, like carrots, zucchini, cucumber, squash, etc. Or puree them. Then, insert these veggies into any bread, muffin, or cookie recipe and cook as usual. You can make a huge batch and then freeze some. These are fantastic for breakfast, lunch or dinner! Don’t think that you have to put this into a sugary sweet recipe! You can use applesauce instead of sugar to sweeten, but also, you can use savory items like cornbread as well!

• Sugar or honey. Yes, I just wrote that, and even I cringed inside just a little. I am that mom who doesn’t allow my kids to have excess sugar, corn syrup, food coloring, icing, etc. However, I want my kiddos to eat their vegetables. So sometimes I will put a small amount of brown sugar, raw sugar, or honey on things like carrots, sweet potatoes, or corn.

• Cheese! Yes, cheese is the answer to most of life’s problems and then chocolate fixes the rest haha! But let’s stay on track here. Vegetables. If I melt cheese on any vegetable they love it. But who doesn’t? If they have a dairy allergy, try the cheese substitutes.

• Smoothies. Recently smoothies have been a life saver for me. You really can throw anything you want into a blender, along with some juice and the kids will drink it up. Especially my kids. I only give them milk and water to drink, so when I offer them the exotic flavor of a smoothie they are so excited! I also let them drink it out of an adult cup with a straw (that I hold of course). My most recent smoothie accomplishment? I made a smoothie that consisted of frozen fruit, 2 bananas, 1 pear, frozen broccoli, fresh kale, and orange juice!! They loved it! Go figure, even frozen veggies work. Score!

• Pouches. For some reason, my kids still love those pouch to go fruit and veggie pouches. My husband just told me that he read that those pouches often contain mold (like Capri Sun pouches can) so in order to avoid this I bought some reusable, refillable, BPA free plastic pouches. I make up my own vegetable and fruit purees. Sometimes I make a coconut oatmeal pouch for breakfast. You can slip any veggie or fruit into these!

• Ketchup. Yes, it really is that simple. Allowing my kids to dip their foods into ketchup or BBQ sauce, or even MSG-free ranch, will liven up any vegetables. Or meat for that matter!

If you can think of any other ideas I, and our fellow readers, would love to hear them! Please leave them in the comments below! 

Why I Have Decided to Quit the Holidays

Just a note: Wow, it really has been awhile since I have posted. There were the holidays, all 4 of our kids currently have Croup, and oh, having 2 sets of twins under the age of 2 is kind of akin to falling off of the face of the earth. But I am still here lol!

So I haven’t quit, not yet. But I really am considering quitting the holidays. In the past 4 months we have celebrated 4 holidays; Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, and for us, our twin’s birthday and party. So make that 5 holidays. The only one of those that didn’t include a big ordeal was New Years. But even that holiday carries with it the demand to attend a party and stay up late…I am a 28 year old mother of two very young sets of twins…ain’t nobody got time for that! Or the energy for that matter!

Why do I want to quit you ask? Well, to be honest, I’m just tired and exhausted. I struggle on a daily basis to clean my house, take care of my 4 kiddos and husband, and make about 17 meals for everyone (one meal per person per mealtime in my house.) So when a holiday rolls around all of that amplifies. We can’t travel because of our kids so we have relatives come to us. Thus I am preparing my home for more people, and more grocery store trips, and more meals before and after the BIG meal of the holiday. Then I am cleaning up. Oh, and somewhere in between I am being a mother and a wife and taking care of my children.

I must stop here and say that I LOVE MY RELATIVES! I love to have them visit us and stay with us. I do not love, however, the added pressure of the holidays.

Even Halloween is stressful because I have to find coordinating costumes for two sets of twins of different ages and for us, and then we have to dress them and paint faces and change diapers and feed them and somehow take them all around a neighborhood when it’s freezing out. Have you ever tried to paint the faces of two cranky almost two year olds? Fuhgettaboutit.

I just wish that holidays were simple. I wish that family just came together to just be together. I want to relax and enjoy my company but I can’t. I’m worrying about gift buying and wrapping, grocery lists, bank account balances, making it to church for Christmas Eve services, cooking everything perfectly and timing it so that it all comes out hot together. Did I get all the decorations up? Is my son eating the Nativity scene?! Who just projectile vomited all over her third outfit of the day? Are all the kids dressed in adorable holiday apparel? Does my house smell like baking cookies? We don’t have lights up!! What will the neighbors think?

Those are some of my thoughts. Some of the things that keep my mind spinning and my feet running. The things that keep me from just sitting down and enjoying the glow of the lights on the Christmas tree and a snuggle with my husband. Why? Why is everything so busy and commercialized? I think that I have internalized every holiday tradition that I have seen and I am trying to make sure we look perfect, our home is perfect, and everyone is happy. In doing all of this, I feel like I am missing the meaning behind all of our family holidays.

I recently read Carry On, Warrior by Glennon Doyle Melton and in her book she has a section called Hostressing. When I read it, it was like reading my own thoughts. It is about how hostessing become hostRessing. And how she finally figured out that hosting wasn’t about the host herself; it wasn’t about have a perfect home or meal, but that it was about offering yourself and your home to the people you care about. This struck a chord with me. In the end, she finally decided to host a “party” but she warned all guests to not be fancy, to bring their own dish and drink, and to leave early haha!

So I’m thinking about quitting. Meaning, maybe we will order food next year or go out to eat. Maybe I won’t decorate. Maybe my kids will spend the days in their pajamas…or maybe we will just go somewhere tropical. I am not sure yet what this temporary retirement will look like. But I know that I am tired. And I know that at the next holiday, I will focus on my guests and not my home, food, drinks, music, clothes, etc. I will enjoy their company, and I think they will enjoy a less-stressed version of me!.....I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that I am not June Cleaver, and that my family is happy with store bought, from a box, stuffing.

Jamberry Nails Pro-life Fundraiser

Hi everyone! As some of you may already know, babies, both born and in the womb, are very dear to my heart. I am pro-life and pro-mother. Please take a moment and check out this following post written by my friend Noa. She is a Jamberry Rep and is doing a special fundraiser for the month of January to benefit Care Net Pregnancy Center: 

For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Chenoa but I go by Noa, and I started selling Jamberry nail wraps a couple of months ago.  I am a busy mom on the go and outside of being a mom I work as a Staff Accountant at an accounting firm.  I always love to see everyone’s perfectly painted fingers but unfortunately I wasn’t blessed with the patience gene, so I inevitably need to scratch my face or anything else that will destroy the polish job I just spent what seems like forever doing.  Here enters Jamberry; they are heat and pressure activated nail wraps that come in over 300 designs. They require no drying time and are non-toxic.  They also do not damage your real nails and last up to 2 weeks on fingers and up to 6 weeks on toes!!!  Each set provides 2 manicures and up to 2 pedicures or 2 manicures and several accent nails.

As a New Years Resolution of sorts I wanted to spend my first month of the year giving, so I have decided to run fundraisers for the month of January.  I am donating my entire commission from all sales to Care Net Pregnancy Center of Southern MD.  Although I have never faced the decisions many that come to Care Net face, I understand and have experienced the loss of a baby and the hole it leaves inside.  If someone is facing financial hardship and what may feel like insurmountable odds that could lead to them making a decision out of desperation, and I can even do a little to care for them and help them know that they are in fact not alone, I will.  Care Net provides so much:  counselling, provisions, prayer, parenting tools, and means for parents to provide at a low cost.  They truly are a giving bunch!!!  

Orders can be placed following this link:  http://chenoaherrick.jamberrynails.net/party/?uid=3aa6b0fb-7f57-4385-a087-9a93d9d77fc1

In addition I have created a custom wrap to celebrate life, pictured below:

This is a custom wrap and can be ordered directly through me at the following email address:  noaskye79@gmail.com

This wrap has to be ordered in bulk by me so if you are interested you can send me a check for $18.75 plus tax or pay through my paypal account by adding $1 to cover fees.

30 Day-1 Gallon of Water a Day Challenge

Hi! Happy New Year to all of my readers! It has been a crazy, stressful, joyful, celebrating time here in our household. We have had a lot of visitors, dinners, and parties around here. Our oldest twins just turned 2 on December 29! Yay! So that, on top of Christmas, has left our home looking like a pair of twin tornadoes ripped through it. Oh wait, they did haha! So I personally have been feeling very overwhelmed. I am also tired and achy. I usually attribute all of this to stress and having two sets of very young twins. However, today I came across a couple of articles about drinking enough water. Many ladies in these articles suffered from the same things I described as well. Their doctors recommended that they drink 1 gallon of water a day to hydrate their bodies properly. According to their articles, 37% of people mistake water pangs for hunger pangs, so they eat. hello, that is me, I am sure! 

So these ladies accepted a challenge to drink 1 gallon of water, each day, for 30 days.At the end of those 30 days, these women had reduced under eye darkness and puffiness. Their skin was firmer and brighter. They had reduced oiliness, they lost weight, lost cellulite and their dry skin improved. Oh, and their daily headaches and achiness, and joint stiffness went away. Not to mention their appetites were suppressed and they no longer craved sugar! 

Wow, so water sounds like a miracle cure-all. I will admit right here that I don't drink enough water. Ever. So my husband and I both are going to take this 1 gallon a day for  30 days challenge. Here are my list of complaints that I hope to see relived by an increase in water consumption:

• Dry skin
• Dark under eye circles
• Exhaustion
• Joint pain
• Muscle pain
• Headaches (everyday)
• Snacking
• Excess post-baby weight

So 1 gallon, that is 128 oz of water....I challenge you, my readers and friends, to join me in this challenge. Water is free and healthy. Start slow if you need to. Spread the water consumption out over the day. But do it, for you and for your family. And let me know. Let me know that we are in this together. Let me know what results you hope to see, and what results you actually see! 

So here's to us; Cheers! Bottoms up!

Why My Kids Will Never Believe in Santa

I really don’t like to lie. It gives me the heeby jeebies…I mean, I get this bad, horribly guilty, feeling when I lie. When I was a little girl I would tell the truth within days of telling any lie. Now, as a parent, I hate lying to my children too. I try to give them honest reasons for why they shouldn’t do things like eat MSG or jump on the couch (hello, head injury!).

So now with Christmas drawing near, my twins will be turning 2 years old, and my husband and I are being faced with what to tell our children about Santa. Everyone from Grandparents, to receptionists, to hair stylists are asking my toddlers if they are looking forward to seeing Santa, and getting gifts from Santa, and asking if they have been good for Santa etc. It just drives me crazy! The whole world just assumes that we tell our children that a rosy cheeked, large man will somehow break into our home and leave gifts for them…ugh.

So here are my problems with teaching my children to believe in Santa

1)     Jesus is the reason for the season. This season, and every other one. Our family celebrates the birth of Jesus Christ at Christmas and I don’t want my children’s attention more focused on the glitz and glamour of Santa and gifts rather than Jesus. Don’t get me wrong, I love gifts, holiday lights, carols, glitter and reindeer….but I think that you can have all of that and still focus on the birth of Jesus. I think that Christmas is the perfect time to emphasize the gift that God has given us. Jesus is God’s gift to us and when Jesus died on the cross as payment for our sins; that was His gift to us. So in a season that seems to be all about who gives the best gift, we will be teaching our kiddos about the ultimate gift, Jesus.

2)   The whole lying thing. I can’t fathom perpetuating a lie for the next 5 or so years. Telling my children that there is currently a magical man, who lives in a magical land, with flying reindeer, and elves who make toys…that is a flat out lie. I LOVE LOVE pretend, and make believe. But I make it a point to make sure my children know that we are “pretending” to drink tea, and fly, and be puppy dogs, etc. They know reality from pretend. Enter Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, etc. I have no problem with my kids having fun and pretending that a large rabbit laid eggs in our yard, or pretending that a winged, magical fairy flies into their room and collects rotting, stinking teeth…ugh.

3)   We all know that it is hard to trust and/or respect people who have lied to us. Especially lies that have been carried out over years, or multiple lies. So I don’t want to start long term lies with my children. I want them to know that they can trust mommy and daddy; that we will always be honest with them. Being honest with them will instill respect and trust both ways.

4)   History is fun and Saint Nick was an interesting man. I hope to teach my children about the history of Saint Nick and how he became the legend known as Santa. I want my children to know how Santa came to be, and why people tell their kids about him. I hope to teach them to therefore respect other people’s feelings and not blurt our “Santa isn’t real!” to other children.

5)    Back to my pet peeve. It bothers me so much when people use Santa to try and manipulate their children and their behavior. Saying things such as “If you don’t behave Santa won’t bring you any gifts.” Or “ Santa is watching you and keeping a list.” Okay, that last one is just creepy. What kid needs to think that someone is always watching them, but they can’t see that person….But really, a child should be taught to behave because it is the right thing to do. If they behave well only when a reward is offered, they will quickly misbehave when there is no potential for reward, or when they find out that the reward is moot.

All this being said, we will celebrate Christmas, with Jesus as the focal point. We will decorate a tree, we will hang lights, we will sing about Rudolph. We will even go to a mall and get a picture taken on “Santa’s” lap. (Or as my kids will know him, a man dressed up as the historical Saint Nick.) You can still allow your family to experience the joy of celebrating the holidays of this world without being of this world. I don’t believe that my children have to be ostracized because they don’t believe in Santa. I hope that my kiddos can share their faith and love of Jesus Christ with all of their little friends during Christmas (and all other times).

Merry Christmas!

The Good, The Bad, and the Smelly...A Pros & Cons Review of Diapers

Diapers. Yeah, we go through a few; about 20-25 a day. On a good day that is. A good day being one without poop blowouts and urine soak throughs. That being said, we have used just about every brand of diaper out there. I like to think that makes me a self-appointed diaper expert. So I think that it is my duty, as an expert (haha) to let you all know the good, the bad, and the ugly about the diapers available out there.

Yes, that is over 2,000 diapers that we went through in months

Huggies:

I have found that overall Huggies diapers are very absorbent. They are decent at holding in wetness. They also are moderately priced. The Huggies brand is pretty good at putting out coupons too, which is a huge plus. They also have a rewards for purchases program. Their downfall is that they tend to run at least one size too small. This isn’t too big of a deal, except that when you buy a bigger size, you get less diapers per box for the same price. Ugh. What is the deal with smaller things costing more? But I will say that I like the Huggies Overnight diapers; I of course have to buy them one size larger. They are pretty good for stomach sleepers that tend to leak urine out of the top front. B

Pampers:

Now Pampers really is a mixed bag because they have many different types of diapers. Unfortunately, I am not a fan of most of them. I find that the Baby Dry have an odd smell and aren’t great at protecting against leaks. The Cruisers aren’t much different so I don’t know why they are touted as anything special. Another downside, Pampers are very pricey. Often they are the most expensive diapers available besides the organic type. On the plus side, I really do like their Swaddler variety. They used to be available only for small babies, but they are now available up to size 6. The Swaddlers tend to hold in most liquid and poop. They are also made of a thick and durable material. Pampers also offer some coupons and provide a rewards system based on purchases. B

Babies R Us:

I was extremely disappointed with these diapers. You would think that a diaper produced by a “baby” brand would be decent. Wrong. The Babies R Us brand diapers are thin and barely absorbent. They leak out of the leg holes very badly. A plus, they are inexpensive. But at the rate that you go through them, the low cost is moot. C-

Parent’s Choice (Walmart):

Walmart’s Equate and Parent’s Choice brand generally are a good equivalent to the national brand’s quality and better priced. However, their diapers are terrible. They are on par with the Babies R Us brand. They are super thin, not absorbent, and they leak. So again, while the price is great, it is not worth it because you will go through them so quickly. C-

Luvs:

I like Luvs. They are pretty low priced and decently absorbent. We still had leaks with Luvs, but not as many as with the Babies R Us and Parent’s Choice. Luvs would be my second choice in diapers. B

Target Brand:

Target’s brand of diapers is my favorite. They are of medium thickness so their absorbency is pretty decent. We have low leakage with Target diapers too. They move pretty well with our kids and their price is very good. One of the best things about Target diapers is that they often run a deal where you get a $10-$15 gift card when you purchase two boxes. A pretty sweet deal when you have two sets of twins. Plus, I got a Target Red Debit Card so I get an additional 5% off of all purchases and free shipping from their website. I don’t know about you, but it can be very hard for me to get out of the house to buy diapers. Thus, the free shipping from Target is a great option! The negative about Target diapers is that they have a slight tendency to bust open and leak the absorbent gel bead insides. Generally this happens with a semi full diaper and after bouncing or rough playing. However, I have found these beads all over my daughter when she hasn’t been bouncing or rough playing. So overall, Target diapers are my #1 choice. A-

Choosy moms choose Target lol!